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Things I'll Never Say

by Phil Cooper

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Let It Fall 04:45
So let it fall all the way and when it hits the ground you'll start to see your life again the way it is. So let it fall. Taking baby steps I watch the building blocks tumble. The ones I built alone on the foundations of you. And all the while your bulldozers rumbled, biding their time before they tore us in two. I guess it was my fault because I didn't see the warnings, I buried my head as I had all that I need. I was blinded by the sun that I thought was dawning. I didn't stop to take heed. All that I can do is let it fall. So I sit alone with only this guitar picking at the bones to find something I can use. It's such a heavy burden to relive each day so far but the fragments of my heart are my muse. All that I can do is let it fall.
Sigh 03:02
Is it late or is it early? I can barely bring myself to care. I'm so tired of everyone and everything. And all I want to do is just sigh. Don't you know I am lonely company as I sit here in my tired mind? I'm no more in the world of mystery. All the wonder's gone and I sigh. And if it's all the same I would like to be alone. Even though I'm well aware that when I'm there I will tear myself apart. Don't look now, another trouble comes my way and the weight of the world is weighing me down. I know I can't maintain this apathy but the world would be easy if I could just sigh.
Listen to my words and I will tell you how I feel. It's a simple but effective way to learn. Of all the things you take from me, the one that breaks the deal is also the most tricky to discern. So let's put your pride to bed and listen to what the people said. We're always told we have a choice, but I don't think I have a voice. I know I don't have... shhh! It doesn't matter what you wrote, the theory is one man / one vote. Now why is that so hard to understand? One seat for a million votes? It's pretty clear the system's broke. But maybe that's all going to your plan. So let's put your pride to bed and listen to what the people said. We're always told we have a choice, but I don't think I have a voice. I know I don't have... shhh! The more you ignore... the louder we roar!
In the dark for so long. And how I wait with open arms in the dark... hidden away Distant flickers a flame... Distant flickers a flame... And it's you, you're a light. Shining away so that I can only see you. You're a light. I see a world that I couldn't before I found you. You're a light, guiding my way to somewhere that might become home. And the world, turning away. Now I close my open arms around you. I'm taken away to somewhere far away, Closer now to the flame. And it's you, you're a light. Shining away so that I can only see you. You're a light. I see a world that I couldn't before I found you. You're a light, guiding my way to somewhere that might become home. Step in to the flame... Look beyond the flame.
We fit like a glove, but on the wrong hand. I tried to make my home in some foreign land. Taken out of context, two worlds collide. We never knew each other girl, and I don't feel you tried. It's inevitable that you're jumping bail. You never tried to understand, you set up to fail. And I got nothing from you but a sense of shame. You made me feel worthless, girl, you made me feel lame. Starting over, nursing old wounds, they feel like new wounds Looking in me you can't see the real me for the memory in your mind. Well it seems to me it's easy to lose. You don't need to work so hard, you don't need to choose. But give and take, girl, can do so much. It can offer everything, and it's a simple touch.
Faces in the crowd. I pick you out as someone I should meet. And I wish I had the words to say, but I don't want to interrupt your day, so I don't. And I won't see you again. How many times have I missed that boat? I've watched it sail away in to the great wide sea. I don't know if I believe in fate when all it seems to be is soul-mates I can't see. Everywhere I go there's always someone out there to catch my eye. And why I keep myself to myself, as if talking to you would hurt my health, I don't know. I guess I don't know what to say, when all I want is to be loved. So when I fall for you and for a fleeting moment you're mine. As our eyes meet and then you look away. Well it's hard to say... it's hard to say... How many times I've missed that boat. I've watched it sail away in to the great wide sea. How I wish that I believed in fate but all it seems to be is soul-mates without me.
You're a flower and I'm a tree, in the same garden with different leaves. A beautiful flower so fragrent and mild, standing so vibrant. I was beguiled. Just a tree with roots down so deep. Strong and steady but even willows can weep. Now it seems to me we both have our faults. How did I not see this would be the briefest waltz? In the spring when we were in bloom I had my blossom you had your sweet perfume But in came the autumn and I lost my leaves. Your strength it withered as if taken by thieves By the winter, with you almost gone, I may be empty but at least I stand strong. In the garden, where I stand alone and wait for my flower when she is regrown.
All the time I spent, all the love I gave, sat by your side in your hours of need. Did what I could to help you succeed. But now I'm nothing to you. Not even a memory as you wipe all traces of me from your mind. I hope in time you'll come to see what you've cast aside. And you're sweetness no more Love enough for three, a big heart leads to bigger heartbreak. And as I sit here mourning the death of love and all the things you had dreamed of. Now you dream of other things. Taking old desires and locking them away so you can't see, Can't be reminded of what you meant to me. And it's true I gave myself to you. When I said forever I'd have been a man of my word, I'd have made you my world.
Write down a list of things you need. If you lie to yourself you'll never succeed. And over the hills and far away is the life that you want and it slips away. When two is a crowd you're always alone. And sorrow and pain are all that you've known. You don't have the strength to trust again so you fill up your time with the mundane. I thought I could bring you out of your shell. I wish you would but it's not a cold day in hell. Write down a list of things you desire and burn them away in the fire. Never to fly, never to sail. Because if you never try, you'll never fail.
This terrible thrill is becoming me. I look to the future and what do I see? A world so uncertain and a chance to be free. The world outside is Schrodinger's box, with how many doors and how many locks? I guess I won't know until I take that walk. Now I'm stepping off the edge. I'm going to need you as I learn to fly The more I thought, the more I knew it's just something I've got to do. You've got my back to help me see it through. This open stage I'll call my own. The doubts and fears all overthrown.
We live in fear, we live in hope. The things we hold dear help us to cope. And I feel I have to say you brighten up my day without doing anything. So thank you. Thank you, my friend. Time after time you're there to wipe away my tears. You soothe the scars that I've been nursing for years. You're a hero and a friend and I promise you now. The strength you've given me, I will always avow.
It's no big surprise that it's come to this, the gulf was just too big to cross. I'm surprised at just how easily I've come to accept the loss. And in the end there was no anger, no shouting and no debate. Just the quiet goodbye. I'm gone, and you're gone, and it's over. You can't tell me I didn't try my best. I gave my world to you, with you unimpressed. Now it's done it's time to move on, Able to fly the nest.
It hardly seems fair, just a year in a life and there isn't any more, and time marches on. It's taken it's toll and I wish it didn't end. The wound is still sore. Will it ever truly mend? When you've given everything and it's hard to say what you mean. Well how can I explain, when I won't see you again, the impact that you've made. And the part that you played? I know as time goes on you'll change with every day and your memories of me will slowly fade away. There will come a time when you won't recall my name. I can't begin to tell you how yours is stuck in my brain


released February 17, 2016


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Phil Cooper England, UK

Energetic singer-songwriter with a knack for earworms, entertaining and including the audience in the show.

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